1. |
Long Winter 2
02:47
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I’ve never wished on a well or a star
I make wishes on nothing at all
If there was a list with my backlog
It’d take a lifetime to read
I’m always trying to be perfect
Let no one in to question it
Never trusted enough to give
So there’s nothing coming back to me
My mood’s been down since the sun’s been hidden
I keep it down with my broken hymns
This time of year the Midwest looks dead
And the sight makes my heart race
I close my eyes and I wait for spring
It starts to bloom, I don’t feel anything
It’s nice to see it change from gray to green
But the warmth seems out of place
Hop on a call with some friends
Maybe I’ll drop a couple of hints
I tell them how much I miss them
But mostly I just smile
Call it a night and I wish them well
I’m drunk alone in my prison cell
Honestly things aren’t much different now
I’ve always felt like this
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2. |
Get Out
03:58
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All that you know
Is that you feel alone
But you can’t go home
‘Cause that place is gone
So you built stone walls so that you’d feel safe
In time, stone crumbles all the same
And you’re left exposed
So you wait
For your name to be called
But the pieces don’t ever fall
To make a perfect whole
No, you gotta go walk past your waist
Let the tide roll you away
Til you don’t know which way is up
See, you got your feet planted now
But the bottom falls out
You start falling down, down
And the whole time you’re hoping that you’ll hit the ground
So you learn to fake it
Take a new name
But you just keep making
All the same mistakes
Keep hitting all the same brick walls
Wonder if you’ll ever learn anything at all
And you pray that you’ll change
God let me change
But when you see
That empty blue sky
You know it’s a desolate sea
There’s nothing hiding behind
That veil that’s covering our eyes
It’s the most heartbreaking way to find
That you’re in control
But really what can you control?
Nothing. No.
You gotta clean your soul off
Take some spiritual detox
Cleanse yourself of your parent’s religion
Cause you know that Jesus will always hang and Buddha’s beneath the Bodhi tree
Still, still sitting
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3. |
Die Happy
02:41
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Well you know I’ve never been one to hold a door
Or to offer to rub your feet when they’re feeling sore
I don’t like to go out and eat expensive food
But babe, I’d like to do that for you
And I don’t wanna go and hang out with your friends
A group of vapid hens with money to spend
Don’t wanna dress up fancy and shine my shoes
Baby, I would shine them for you
Honey, I would shine them for you
And I’ve never been content to just let life run
I wanna open Pandora’s Box, I wanna swallow the sun
And I don’t wanna die without knowing the Truth
But baby, I’d die happy with you
I think I could die happy with you
And I’ll never throw my coat over a puddle in the pouring rain
Or buy you a silver necklace and a diamond ring
They say that chivalry is dead, his face a pallid blue
But babe, I’ll try to revive him for you
And I’m not the kind of man that’ll plan a wedding
Or even six months down the road, you never know what’ll happen
Besides, love is just a feeling, it could never be true
But babe, I’ll change my mind for you
Yeah, I think I’ll change my mind for you
And I’ve never been content to just let life run
Yeah, I wanna taste the Apple, I wanna swallow the sun
And I don’t wanna die without knowing the Truth
But baby, I’d die happy with you
I think I could die happy with you
And I’ve never been content to just let life run
Yeah, I wanna taste the Apple, I wanna swallow the sun
And I don’t wanna die without knowing the Truth
But baby, I’d die happy with you
I think I could die happy with you
I know I would die happy with you
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4. |
Pressure
03:02
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We make mistakes
Sniping at each other
Foundations shake
From the force of all that thunder
The air is always freshest after the storm
Baby, we’ll feel better if our walls are gone
So let’s try to forget the shitty things we said
Try on a little sweetness before we go to bed
‘Cause all that childish shit I do
Well, I’d only do it to you
You’re my safest space
And I hope that I’m yours, too
Lay it on me
Tell me what’s got you scared
I can take it
Quit worrying about whether it’s fair
‘Cause what’s the point of putting ourselves through
All this if I can’t be there for you
I know you never wanted to seem weak
Well baby, you never looked that way to me
So if you’re sad let yourself be sad
The disconnect grows with each sob you hold back
And once you get it off your chest
You will feel love again
Loving you has a way of bringing me back
I was burned until I melted and then was recast
And if I had it all figured out
I forgot it when we met
Forget forever
A false measurement of time
Adding pressure
There’s tension growing, though we’re doing fine
Why would we trust these doubts in our mind
When it’s the ego we’re trying to leave behind
And if the moment’s all that you feel
Then baby, the future isn’t even real
Besides right now’s good enough for me
I love you and as far as I can see
Since being with you I’m learning
What kind of man I want to be
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5. |
Up Tonight
03:00
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We hear the call to arms
And we step out into the night
Looking for a drink or a body that’ll
Shut down our minds
And if we play our cards right
We could all have fun for a change
There’s no reason to bring up all those
Past mistakes
It’s the beer that’s laughing now
And it’s the whiskey talking loud
And I swear to god I’m okay
Yeah, I feel just fine
Let’s just try not to
Bring this up tonight
Remember those nights in the summer
When we’d all stay out too late
Swimming at sunrise until we felt
Too nauseous to stay awake
Maybe those days were better
I wouldn’t ask for them back anyway
Still, you didn’t have to
Rub them in my face
It’s the beer that’s shouting now
And it’s the whiskey storming out
And I swear to god I’m okay
Yeah, I feel just fine
Why you’d have to
Bring this up tonight
I swear to god I’m okay
Yeah, I feel just fine
Fuck it, why’d you have to
Bring this up tonight
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6. |
Time's Got Away
06:32
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I tell jokes when I go home
Yeah, I try to steer things light
So they’ll never see the cracks in my smiling face
And know that I’m scared that we’re alone
There’s nothing in that empty sky
Not since it left us for another place
And I mean, sure, I got my friends
But I keep them at arm’s length
‘Cause it’s never been that easy to relate
Now when I meet my brothers
There just isn’t much to say
Since our father left his house in a state of decay
He just saddled up his horse
And left a note hanging on the door
Said, “Look for me with the coming of the spring”
But that season’s come and gone
I haven’t seen him in so long
I wouldn’t recognize him if he was standing in front of me
Watch him fade away from the realm of memory
I met an old friend at a bar
A dark corner of the room
The same table that we sat at the last time
She was nonchalant as ever
And me, I was losing my cool
Under the weight of those electric eyes
And we talked about the old days
We wondered why we never fucked
I said, “I’m sure we had our reasons at the time”
But seeing her here tonight
I know she’s someone I could’ve loved
She said, “Time’s got a way of getting away from us”
Then she wraps me in her arms
In front of all those idling cars
Before she walks away beneath those yellow lights
And I know that she’s looking for a ride
From some less complicated guy
A happy ending I hope she never finds
If she does then I won’t get much sleep tonight
You can play the game
But you gotta be willing to give up your piece
You can’t take that bet
If you don’t put up anything
And it’s not called living
If you’re living stake free
So I’m learning to take it easy
Not let shit get to me
It’s simple just switch off that inner light
And I may not seem as pleasant
I meet seem just a little less me
But at least I’ll never feel alone at night
So my chest has been deserted
And my veins are collecting dust
And I’m not as honest as I pretend to be
But I know that you’ll find someone
In who you’ll deposit all your trust
Just promise to keep that shit away from me
And I’ll just go to work then sleep
Indulge in escapism in between
Blow all my money on a false reality
‘Cause that’s the only opiate I need
Something that’ll generate a dream
Give me a chance to be someone who isn’t me
Now my only fear is that I won’t fall asleep
My only fear is that I won’t fall asleep
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7. |
Rearview
03:28
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This kid from my town died in a car crash
All the gossips shake their heads and say, “You shouldn’t drink and drive”
Though I keep it to myself
I wonder if that needs to be pointed out right now
And why a tragedy makes people feel so inclined
And you’d think ten years would change things
I still have so many questions I need a list
Well, I guess I shouldn’t say
That nothing ever changes
At least now I know those answers don’t exist
Still, we’re holding tightly on to faith
As if our lives don’t mean anything if there’s no such thing as fate
It’s like we can’t see the romance
In the fact that there is no path
The trails we blaze make the most beautiful shapes
I’m sorry if my mood’s been getting to you
I’ve fallen back into feeling morose
See, I’ve had my eyes open
Lord, I just ain’t been seeing
All the things that matter the most
And if this sounds like something you’ve heard before
It’s because it probably is
See, I spin in cyclone gales
The snake eats its tail
I start the cycle again
But if I could just muster some humor
I have a tendency for dramatics, I’m aware
What a silly thing
The puppet sees its strings
But can’t see if they lead anywhere
So you’d think ten years would change things
I’m still so unsure, I’m as lost as I’ve ever been
I walk around in daydream
Move from screen to screen
Try to finish my novel again
But this girl from my town’s been missing for a while now
They say she vanished into thin air
But from how her mother cries
I know it doesn’t matter if she’s alive
Or not, she’s not here
Still, I hope she’s out there laughing
Speeding down a highway somewhere the cops will never find
And though the sun is in her eyes
She thinks she’d rather go blind
Then see those crying faces she left behind
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8. |
Try To Believe It
04:11
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I woke up in love with a memory
Thought about reaching out but it occurred to me
That all I want is just to live in that dream
So lately I’ve been trying to keep that in mind
When I’m falling in love with someone’s social media profile
It’d be best to just scroll on by
Maybe we should have split up after that big fight
I was never the same, could never get out of my mind
It’s not your fault I know you tried
But there’s a difference between what I know
And what I believe, can’t always reconcile them both
God, my love’s just gotten so cold
I kept a boulder on my chest
To keep from saying what made me anxious
It always rolled off when the sobbing started
So now I must be fucking crazy
‘Cause what I said and can’t stop saying
I’m saying just to break my goddamn heart
So try to get some sleep
‘Cause you’re guaranteed to feel like shit
Til morning
And relax
Try to Believe
That this is all just temporary
Someday you could wake up and be happy
You’re the only person who hates what you see
When you reveal yourself in the songs that you sing
Just try
Try to believe it
So I’ve been looking for a way to validate my grief
‘Cause it don’t belong when life’s been so good to me
Why can’t I just be happy
But I can see flashes in the people around me
Man, I almost had it, it was almost within reach
Just gotta try to believe
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9. |
2071
02:47
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You lived your life in dive saloons
And neon amusement parks
Until you got sick of that red eye scene
And the shopping malls on Mars
You hopped a gate to the colonies
To escape those asteroid blues
You changed your face and you changed your name
Dodged those men who were after you
When you said you were leaving
I thought you meant for good
You were such a sweet, sweet girl
Who would’ve thought that you could
You disappeared right before my
My very eyes
Now my right one’s always looking forward
My left one’s stuck behind
You fell in with a band of thieves
Chose the beast with the sharpest fangs
He tore them out at the sight of you
He swore to hide them away
Had him meet you at the cemetery
To dance on a dead man’s grave
But you never showed, you just sent him a gift
It was lead that you wrapped in flame
When you said you were leaving
I thought you meant for good
You were such a sweet, sweet girl
Who would’ve thought that you could
You disappeared right before my
My very eyes
Now my right one’s always looking forward
My left one’s stuck behind
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10. |
Wave of Time
03:07
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Dreaming of the nights that lasted so long, felt like they’d never end
Afraid of missing out, I guess I’m going on no sleep again
Couldn’t tell if it was molly or the waves that made me roll
Thought I saw the face of god, turns out it’s just the undertow
Dancing so long that steam was rising off me in the summer rain
Thought I lost my friend when I found him again his eyes had changed
Says he saw the past, present, future in a rubber ball
He might have heard the word of god but it’s more likely it was just a joke
And I’m always fighting
That wave of time
If I could just learn to ride it
I might feel this good all the time
Kyle’s in the kitchen preaching life is nothing more than a cosmic joke
Why’d my heart start racing? Is it that I believe him, or did I take too big a dose
Gotta step outdoors ‘cause I can’t breathe inside
I’m uncomfortable but happy, life doesn’t always have to rhyme
Now I’m lighting up a cig ‘cause I’m starting to get anxious marching in the crowd
Keep an eye on those bridges ‘cause you know those fucking pigs wanna beat us down
Violence begets violence but sometimes you gotta let ‘em know
That the people got a voice but they also got sticks and stones
And these captains steered our ship
Where it’s sure to capsize
They’re too scared to right it
They’re afraid of what they left behind
And I’m always fighting
That wave of time
Someday it’s gonna swallow me
I know everything has to die
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11. |
When You Leave
04:35
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Nights like these my baby don’t talk too much just to say, “I wanna be alone”
From the other room I hear her crying in the pillow
And I know that I should say something but, what, god only knows
I’m afraid of her rage
How it cuts like blade
Meanwhile, the distance grows
And it’s hard to think about having children when our love’s gotten cold
There’s this weight in my brain that drives me insane, it keeps me putting up these walls
Sometimes I feel like a victim, other times I just feel gross
Because I learned as a boy
That sex is a toy
Share it with whoever you know
Until you can’t share it no more
No, no, you better only share it if you know
So there goes my night, I guess I can forget about getting sleep
‘Cause my baby is there with her fist in the air, demanding answers from me
It’s why I see a therapist, but I still can’t make a peep
I must have done something wrong
Lord, it’s all my fault
Darling, lay that blame on me
I’m not sure what it was
But I know I fucked up
Baby lay that blame on me
So we’re like a deer in headlights now, we just can’t get out of the way
Of this runaway train, more like a hurricane, it’s just the machinations of fate
So maybe you found a way through, but I can’t move my feet
I can’t keep up
It feels like you’re giving up
So I’m just waiting for the day you leave
I can’t do it myself
It’d be like crawling through hell
It’s gonna kill me when you leave
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12. |
Long Winter
06:26
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Things are getting brighter
I mean, there’s leaves on the trees
But it’s still so cold
The air is too thin to breathe
And the winter was a long one
I was suspended in time
Rusted parts and a tv
Keeping me from what’s mine
What we had was a fire
That burned out too fast
It chewed up the drywall
And shattered the glass
And it smoked us out
Drove us into the light
So we so what we built
Was something cheap, something trite
So we called out the firemen
We begged them, “Do what you can”
But they robbed us down
To the furniture and the beds
And I know I shouldn’t let that
Speak for the species
If you look hard enough
You’ll still find humanity
Maybe you just won’t find it in me
No, you won’t find it in me
If I never saw a happy couple
I think I’d be all right
‘Cause their love is an insult
It’s burning my eyes
And I know that you can’t make
Something appear
If there’s nothing to start with
But smoke in the air
And I’d love to make it happen
I’d love to put in the time
But I’m too goddamn self-possessed
Living up in my mind
‘Cause the dreams that I dream
Sound better to me
Then living my life
In anonymity
So I guess I’ll stay asleep
I guess I’ll just stay asleep
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