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Rearview

from Long Winter by Andrew Parkkila

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lyrics

This kid from my town died in a car crash
All the gossips shake their heads and say, “You shouldn’t drink and drive”
Though I keep it to myself
I wonder if that needs to be pointed out right now
And why a tragedy makes people feel so inclined

And you’d think ten years would change things
I still have so many questions I need a list
Well, I guess I shouldn’t say
That nothing ever changes
At least now I know those answers don’t exist

Still, we’re holding tightly on to faith
As if our lives don’t mean anything if there’s no such thing as fate
It’s like we can’t see the romance
In the fact that there is no path
The trails we blaze make the most beautiful shapes

I’m sorry if my mood’s been getting to you
I’ve fallen back into feeling morose
See, I’ve had my eyes open
Lord, I just ain’t been seeing
All the things that matter the most

And if this sounds like something you’ve heard before
It’s because it probably is
See, I spin in cyclone gales
The snake eats its tail
I start the cycle again

But if I could just muster some humor
I have a tendency for dramatics, I’m aware
What a silly thing
The puppet sees its strings
But can’t see if they lead anywhere

So you’d think ten years would change things
I’m still so unsure, I’m as lost as I’ve ever been
I walk around in daydream
Move from screen to screen
Try to finish my novel again

But this girl from my town’s been missing for a while now
They say she vanished into thin air
But from how her mother cries
I know it doesn’t matter if she’s alive
Or not, she’s not here

Still, I hope she’s out there laughing
Speeding down a highway somewhere the cops will never find
And though the sun is in her eyes
She thinks she’d rather go blind
Then see those crying faces she left behind

credits

from Long Winter, released December 1, 2023

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Andrew Parkkila Chicago, Illinois

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