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Time's Got Away

from Long Winter by Andrew Parkkila

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lyrics

I tell jokes when I go home
Yeah, I try to steer things light
So they’ll never see the cracks in my smiling face
And know that I’m scared that we’re alone
There’s nothing in that empty sky
Not since it left us for another place

And I mean, sure, I got my friends
But I keep them at arm’s length
‘Cause it’s never been that easy to relate
Now when I meet my brothers
There just isn’t much to say
Since our father left his house in a state of decay

He just saddled up his horse
And left a note hanging on the door
Said, “Look for me with the coming of the spring”
But that season’s come and gone
I haven’t seen him in so long
I wouldn’t recognize him if he was standing in front of me
Watch him fade away from the realm of memory

I met an old friend at a bar
A dark corner of the room
The same table that we sat at the last time
She was nonchalant as ever
And me, I was losing my cool
Under the weight of those electric eyes

And we talked about the old days
We wondered why we never fucked
I said, “I’m sure we had our reasons at the time”
But seeing her here tonight
I know she’s someone I could’ve loved
She said, “Time’s got a way of getting away from us”

Then she wraps me in her arms
In front of all those idling cars
Before she walks away beneath those yellow lights
And I know that she’s looking for a ride
From some less complicated guy
A happy ending I hope she never finds
If she does then I won’t get much sleep tonight

You can play the game
But you gotta be willing to give up your piece
You can’t take that bet
If you don’t put up anything
And it’s not called living
If you’re living stake free

So I’m learning to take it easy
Not let shit get to me
It’s simple just switch off that inner light
And I may not seem as pleasant
I meet seem just a little less me
But at least I’ll never feel alone at night

So my chest has been deserted
And my veins are collecting dust
And I’m not as honest as I pretend to be
But I know that you’ll find someone
In who you’ll deposit all your trust
Just promise to keep that shit away from me

And I’ll just go to work then sleep
Indulge in escapism in between
Blow all my money on a false reality
‘Cause that’s the only opiate I need
Something that’ll generate a dream
Give me a chance to be someone who isn’t me
Now my only fear is that I won’t fall asleep
My only fear is that I won’t fall asleep

credits

from Long Winter, released December 1, 2023

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Andrew Parkkila Chicago, Illinois

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